Single Life Celebrant Gifts

'While my friends all smuggle up with their husbands and children, I receive thanks for another doomed relationship.'

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Cheers to being a person."

Congratulations!

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Do you know what girls want?"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Free love

'Are you seeing anybody?'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

Two men toasting

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"Finally - my dating app just launched a 'Why am I seeing this loser?' feature."

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Dating site algorithms never die, they just get re-formulated

'I hate singles bars. It's like window shopping...you know, looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.'

Happy Hour

Closing Laugh Singles Bar

"Day 973: Still no sign of Mister Right..."

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

'Hey baby - where you been all my lives?'

Black Velvet.