Silver Linings Seeker T-Shirts

"I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie."

'You're paralyzed from the knuckle of your left big toe down -- it could have been a lot worse.'

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

Zenemies.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Needs to get a life"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Tiny Visions

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

My God, I need to fart.