Signing A New Contract Mugs

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

"Your client's already agreed to sign for £75,000 a week and a new house - now he also wants a big party when he's 18?"

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go together." - African proverb.

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'