Signature Seeker Pillows

"Can I borrow a pen?"

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"Oh, I've never actually read any of your books. . . I come to these hoping the author will pass away and the book will increase in value!"

"Sign my yearbook?"

"Damn, where are the others supposed to sign?"

"You've signed my book in tomato sauce..."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"It's not for myself, you understand!"

"No inscription. Just sign and date here, sign here, here, and initial here."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

Exit only.

New York Netherworld

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"Is this who I am?"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Forming the adolescent personality

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."