Side-effect Strategist T-Shirts

'... which in turn will cause side effects of nausea, for which I'm giving you Trylitol, which will induce temporary blindness, which I'll counteract with...'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Any questions?"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Do your research!

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"I AM at my usual position."