Sibling Comedian T-Shirts

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Bathroom Fairy

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

'My right brain isn't working.'

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

"I did my homework, but my little brother took it to his 'show and tell'."

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

Sick Exhibitionist

No date for the prom, green girl? If you ever grow up, nerd boy

'good taste is timeless, Al.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

"And another thing - I'm tired of you calling my band a 'side project'."

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

Francis Bacon

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

"Mom! Andy left his shedded skin in the tub again!!"

Slow day at the Oval Office...

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

'He said something about cat fishing.'

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."

'Sorry, but Mum made me bring my dopey sister along.'

Conjoined strangers.

If raising a kid is so expensive, why did you have Teddy? He's an obnoxious pip-squeak who sucks up money you could be spending on me. If you were an only child, you'd spend all your complaints on me. That's so selfish! Teddy's worth every penny!