Showbusiness Pillows

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Job Centre - 'I'm afraid the only jobs we have available are as celebrities.'

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

'Singing and dancing no problem...but I don't do nude scenes.'

Celebrity Relate - 'Splitting up would be excellent for your careers!'

"You're just starstruck, George."

Succession 2

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Toenail clipping missile.

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'I'm a star!'

Hollywood producer.

"Fashion Week"

"Er. . . anything else?"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

TV stage door

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Boarway Show

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

No Talent Agency

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

Stage producer.