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"Did you see the final episode last night?"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'We had to donwsize.'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

Shakespeare makes much ado about nothing.

I can't do anything with my hair. It doesn't like to go to movies or concerts, or play games. It's just really dull.

"Is it any good?"

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

"Don't we thing Arlene would make a perfect Medea?"

We learnt the art on Top of the Pops.

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

'The bar's famous for its high spirits.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've been wonderful, you've been the audience - goodnight!"

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

'I didn't know there WAS an 'idle gossip dot com.''

Hollywood - Exit Stage Left.

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

"I don't see why I have to jump too!"