Show Selector Mugs

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

Yummy Mummies

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"I've downsized."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

Harvey Smith.

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"It's been a perfectly wonderful date...let's not spoil it by talking to each other."

"What you've been coughing up - is it more of a 'Misty Green' or an 'Heirloom Sage'?"

'... and finally, would you like winter pine, or potpourri delight?'

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

Rider Helping Horse Over the Jump

Desert Island Downloads

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

"Good grief Betty, that's just the sort of pace the Test Selectors are looking for."

Beggar on street 'Ex-England opener bugged about by the selectors, please help'

'How do these glasses feel?'

'Ouch! Someone lost a fence in their blind spot in the middle of a jump I reckon!'

'Any chance you could block out the home shopping network.'