Short Week Strategist Pillows

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

Fries and kids

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

"Maybe I can be a campaign worker."

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

Life Tetris

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

White Rabbit leaving a 'Time Management Seminar.'

"I'd love to meet up, but my calendar is a jam-packed with squares and sequential numbers."

'Katie, I won't be coming in Thursday, so reschedule all of today's appointments for then.'

"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

National Academy of Short Selling.

"My mom's having a baby. That automatically moves me into a middle management capacity within the family infrastructure."

Realistic Timetable

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this schedule.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'