Ship Builder Gifts

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Will Christen Your Ship

Ark Welding

"So far we've narrowed the choice of names down to either Fearnaught or HMS Arsekicker."

"Hi, my name is Noah! Is your ark for sale?"

'I've always admired Gary's penmanship.'

A ship in a bottle fires a cannon ball at a model ship in an admiral's den.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Build a Raft

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'