Shiny Object Aficionado T-Shirts

"Before I answer any questions, I'd like to direct your attention to these shiny objects."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

I love the Shard

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Tortoise polishing his shell

'Great to see the Mayan pottery collection is still drawing a crowd.'

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Of course, it might help if we actually found something every once in a while!"

Bald man polishing head

Archeological find in the Myanmar jungle.

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

My own museum.

Rhinestone Accountant

'It's not a doll. It's an action figure.'

Office furniture solutions.

Bio Lab. I see some shiny things down there. They must be chrome-o-somes!

Wow, a thousand-year-old artifact! What a discovery! 2019. Wow, a patch of land not buried in thousand-year-old useless artifacts! What a discovery! 3019.

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

Snuggie of Turin

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

Hand takes a shower,

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

Antiques: I'm not just another crock!

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'

'It's Mexico, dear. They need some of their stuff back.'

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

Antique Scrimshaw: We floss daily.

'Amazing! An entire book collection of nothing but volume 1 of encyclopedias given away free at as introductory offers.'

Desert island palm leaning against Easter island head