Service Survey Survivor Pillows

"Just how fed up with customer services feedback are you: (a) very (b) extremely (c) incandescent with rage (d) don't ask if you value your life?"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

Evil Exams!

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

Office Weather

Getting through the week.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Exhausted employee

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'