Service Survey Survivor Pillows

"Just how fed up with customer services feedback are you: (a) very (b) extremely (c) incandescent with rage (d) don't ask if you value your life?"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

Evil Exams!

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

Getting through the week.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

Exhausted employee

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'