Service Sneerer Pillows

"I hate it when they do this."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"More croutons, sir?"

Man Looking Through Window

Music to their ears.

Fast Food Restaurant

The Waiter

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Self Service Island

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'The problem's too simple - call someone else'

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

Waiter on a horse.

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

DIY helpdesk.

DIY Bed&Breakfast

"I loved the part when you said I was a 'valued customer'. Do it again!"

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

Complaints department

Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff,ruff,ruff! Ruff,ruff! Valet Barking.

Last Farrier for 100 Miles.

Waiter in Waiting Room with Needle

Mile high Hayfever.

Courteous Self-Service.

"Tipping before the meal helps me ascertain the level of service you may or may not receive."

'It's a new record — I switched long-distance companies eleven times today.'

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

I've scheduled a cat scan, but if you're in a hurry, you can try our new U-SCAN.

Butler uses a bike to deliver the food around a long table.

"Serving You Is Our # 1 Job!"