Service Smiler Gifts

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

'How did you train him so well?'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

The Waiter

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

Ski lift.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"...lettuce pray."

An Emotional Support Pet's Support Pet's Support Pet.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

"I hope you don't mind waiting, all the staff are on a 'customer care' course."

'Of course I care, madam!'

"I hate it when they do this."

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

So...who is your provider ?

"Stop right there, it's my stockbroker: I have to take this!"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'It's a service animal.'

"On my home planet, I was a deity."

Blind woman, blind dog, seeing eye cat.

A cat leading a dog leading a man

"He's not my dog, he's my partner."

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

'Okay, we've got 1 CEO, 4 assistant directors, 7 department managers, 3 IT-managers, 2 marketing directors, 3 personnel managers and 2 service managers. Now we just have to find out what we want to produce.'

'The good news is, we've got 100 percent less complaints. The bad news is, we've lost all our customers.'