Service Industry Satire Mugs

"Hi...my name is Jason and I'm your wait person for this evening."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

Death Boss

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

Boardroom cream pies.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'While I'm not looking for the typical 'Yes Man', I want a man who finds it extremely difficult to say 'No' to my suggestions.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

'I told you not to take a left out of the office - now we're completely lost!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Of course you've got a say in this firm! For example 'Yes, sir!', 'You're right, sir!', 'Aye Aye, sir!' or 'As you like it, sir!'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

"We encourage finger pointing in this company."

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Waiter!"

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"