Service Industry Insiders T-Shirts

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'No tipping please.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"Sorry for the delay, sir - the 'catch of the day' turned on us."

"Relax―all I want is a good table."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'In case of emergency break glass.'

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

"Never write down an order. When customers complain, we don't want to leave a paper trail."