Service Center Technician T-Shirts

"Fa-la-la-la-la,la-labor $95 an hour."

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.