Sermon Aficionado Pillows

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"And now..the sermon on the mount."

'The occasional joke is fine --but quit calling the congregation 'Ladies and Germs.''

New curate discussing the pulpit with his paritioners

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"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

"And God said - Let there be preachiness."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Demure lady with gloves

Pirate

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Mikado

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Wotan with eye patch

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Silly wig.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

Scarpia from Tosca

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

Brünnhilde's Funeral Pyre

Johannes Sebastian Bach

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.