Sergeant In The Schoolhouse Pillows

Home Economics with an Attitude...

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

I rule by fear.

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

Conan the Custodian.

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

'There was a lot of excitement at school today — the Student Council voted itself a pay raise.'

'Don't trust people Billy, they'll only hurt you.'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

Inattentive Boy

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

"All right, Sam, but by grade three, they should definitely be able to read."

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"Working on your M.Ed. thesis when you should be teaching is not closing the research-classroom gap."

Guess who's going to be a sergeant major when he grows up?

"My child's school is having an auction, so can your entire life come to a halt?"

"Looks like Zack Morgan has learned to fight back. Try taking Roger Cooper's lunch money instead."

'I want you to listen to me... I'm gonna say it just one time... I... did... not pull that Patty Willston's hair... it never happened!'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'We're over quota for medals right now, Sargent, but here's a smiley-face sticker for you.'

'These days we worry more about power failures than teacher strikes.'

'I would've been a more effective teacher today if I'd gotten here with my lesson plan instead of my grocery list.'

'What do you mean lining up in order of height is discrimination?'

Military Drill

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"It's nice to finally be able to put a face to the humiliating nickname."

'My teacher and my computer were both down today.'

"Don't wait supper for me, Mom. I'll be detained."

'Miss Walker called me gifted in front of the whole class! How am I going to live that down?'