Sensitivity Savant Pillows

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

TV-Man

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

All the apps hidden within a phone

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

The Plasmas.

The Sensitive Dude.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

Piggy Bank ATM

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Sorry I'm late. I forgot the PIN number I need to get my brain going."

Mind control

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

"Cool game!"

"You think they all look like security risks."

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

"You haven't seen security till you've seen it on the iPad 2."

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

Consumer care and technologies

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

Box of Tissues

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"