Senior Dating Pillows

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Carmen, your story...it's amazing. I don't think I've ever met such a selfless, giving woman. Maybe, if you don't mind, we can meet again for coffee."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Pensioner's Romance

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

Old Love

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

Oldies.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"How's your memory?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

'Frankly I'm looking for a doctor I won't outlive and have to change to another.'