Senior Dating Pillows

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"Carmen, your story...it's amazing. I don't think I've ever met such a selfless, giving woman. Maybe, if you don't mind, we can meet again for coffee."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

'He's been doing this ever since he saw the Lion King!'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Pensioner's Romance

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

Old Love

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

Oldies.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'