Dating Senior Pillows

Elderly Dating

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Pensioner's Romance

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Old Love

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Computer Jobs

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Oldies.

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'I get the feeling you haven't heard a word I've said.'

When policewomen date.