Senior Citizen Humor Appreciator Prints

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

James Bond: Senior Years.

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Did someone say something?'

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"How's your memory?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

'It's my prostate.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

Toxic Relationship