Seminar Enthusiasts Pillows

How to make a million dollars

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Sermon Applause.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

How to engage an audience

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

Time management office worker