Self-sufficient Pet Advocate Pillows

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'What's founder?'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"Yo, I'm Scrapper the Rapper, shelters are cool, but I'm no fool -- the dream in my head, is to sleep on your bed. Adopt now!"

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

'Catch any good mice lately?'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"Is your dog friendly?!"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"It's the Galton gang all right. And they done stole our emotional support animals!"

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

"Adopt me."

At least your patients can't complain like the medical doctor's do!"