Self-scan Survivor Pillows

Welcome Back To Another Game Of Which Area Is The Bagging Area?

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Here, take this pencil. We taped some sudokus to the ceiling in there to help you pass the time.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

"It's for you. You've got jury duty."

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

Terms and Conditions

You're too young to be worrying about SAT tests. But I have to score well to get a good job someday. In the real world, no one hires people who're only good at multiple choice questions. Actually, Nana

'I would like to find at least ONE bar that isn't a meat market.'

'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band!'

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"Relax, eventually the scar will disappear!"

Wife: 'So how was your Speed-Reading class honey?!' a man who couldn't handle the pace of a Speed Reading class enters his flatapartment injuried with a trail of pages behind him on the ground

Mindfulness meditation vs. Mindfulness scrolling.

"Isn't this a sequel?"

Human Error, Stupid (computers)

"So that must be the guy from Tech Support."

Common golf Problems: 'Worst slice I have ever seen!'

"Do you need to have seen the first two thousand and forty eight?"

"I see you've met and pet Fluffy."

"Psst. . . what's the definition for plagiarism?"