Self-restraint Expert T-Shirts

Well, Look Who's Hungry Again

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Are you OK hun?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

Let the profit-making begin!

"You choose now to suddenly become romantic?"

In case of fire call yourself.

'They're using honey to draw us out. Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"I'm still waiting for an event to justify the kind of money I throw at you."

It's often meant as a compliment, but in this case saying he's "in a class by himself" is not a good thing.

"She won't even notice when it's safe to go out again."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

The Olympic Pings

'Mrs. Sandler, I'm sorry we were late! No! Not that, Mrs. Sandler! Ahh! No, please! I beg of you!...'

"Everything goes right to my hips."

"Mid-life crisis is so defining - couldn't we just call it 'Puberty - the sequel?"

Scale: You don't want to know.

Me On A Diet: "I should not be eating this!"

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and I think I've got bovine spongiform encephalitis."

Jesus is tempted in the desert.

Expert and Ex-Pert

'Part of a healthy lifestyle is realizing that the numbers on the scale are completely irrelevant to well being...'