Self-promotion Critic Mugs

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've finished shovelling and am for the most part satisfied with the results, but I'll rest now and look at it again in the morning."

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

"It's very me, but I hate myself."

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'Don't make my nose too big!'

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"