Self-improvement Seekers Pillows

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

'You need to stop smoking. It's really not that hard. I've done it myself several times.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'I reinvented myself. I'm deeper now, more challenging.'

"I know you would really like me if I could just be myself, but since this is our first date and I'm incredibly nervous, you won't be seeing the real me because I can't be myself when I'm this nervous, so all I ask is that you try to like this me until I calm down and the real me emerges."

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"I didn't make the team...I guess I suck at everything."

"If you've got it, you've got it."

`"...wouldn't it be easier to ask the cartoonist of this strip to draw you a more decent nose?"

'Alright then, smarty pants - who is the 1,596 th fairest in the land?'

"Oh, come on, Fred. You can't credit your entire metamorphosis to yoga!"

"Yeah, I've won lots of races, but I'm still poor: I've always been too self-conscious to bet on myself..."

"How much for a complete refurbishment?"

"To be honest, I'm just looking for positive role models in my life. After all, he's Genghis Khan, not Genghis Can't."

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

"Tell me more about this inferiority complex."

"It's either quit work, change my name and move to Figi, or simply shut down my social media accounts."

ELF help books.

"He tried intermittent fasting. But settled on continual slowing."

Insecure elephant

'I don't need to go on a diet. All I need is a bigger pair of pants.'

Increase your wingspan!

'His six-pack abs are now a keg.'

'Shadow boxing.'

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

insecure frog

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'When I get off, it keeps talking!'

"I'm giving up taking selfies for New Year."

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

'I went off my diet... it was a piece of cake.'

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

'Let's avoid the term 'brown-noser' and assume that you're deferential, obsequious, and slavish by nature.'

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'