Self-improvement Comedic Seeker T-Shirts

"I'm giving up begging, fags and booze...looks like I'll have to go back home to the wife and kids."

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Clown on bike.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Critisize your weight.

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Knights of the bedside table.

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Dedication to excellence....

Zoo animals.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Noah's ark, many lions

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."