Self-help Book Buff Pillows

"She's a fully self-actualized cat."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'You must heal yourself.'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'The Lemming Book Store'

'You need to ask yourself, Am I a pecan or a pecan't?'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'101 ways to drive your boss crazy.' 'How to stay sane at the top.'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Always expect the best

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'