Self-esteem Jester T-Shirts

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

PROBLEM AREAS

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Ego Increasing School

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches