Self-defense Devotee T-Shirts

"Try lowering the setting."

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Women's Martial Arts Center

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Mod Kwan Doh

Martial Arts

KAWAII T'AI CHI

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

Martial Arts

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

Bomb Back Better

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Dronin'

"Isn't that adorable? He learned that in Karate class."

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.