Self-declared Foodie Mugs

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Domestic Goddess.

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Kitchen Kapers

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Burnt or Raw?

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"You grab the food—I'll grab the wine."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

Avocado Timeline

Will work for Food Network.

'Therapy?'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."