Self-critique Humorist Mugs

Narcissus looks at his reflection in a pool of water; he is wearing a shirt that reads "Narcissus" written backwards so that he can read it properly in his reflection

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

Next, I remember looking down and thinking, man, those pants make my butt look huge.

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Bad Scalp Day

"Last year I didn't meet any of my work goals, so this year my goal is to fail at everything"

"I seem to bring out the worst in people."

'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

"My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis."

Still fits like a glove after all these years!

'Enjoying a little 'me time', Narcissus?'

'Saline implants? That'd kill you! I'd take anything Rick says with a grain of salt- But I suppose that'd kill you too.'

'I'm curious about your out-of-body experience. As you floated above your hospital bed, how noticeable was my bald spot?'

'Your surveillance videos always make me look fat.'

"Society is so PC these days - I can't even poke fun at myself without offending someone."

'Loser on Board'

"Oh, come on! At least tell me I'm in the top fifty fairest people in the land!"