Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!
Self-control Satirist Prints
Decorate their space with prints that celebrate satirical wit and sharp humor, perfect for the self-control satirist who loves clever commentary.
"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."
Man posing on beach as women ignore him.
'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'
Bald Man Overcomb
New from Lockdown Press
Lady Liberty's Self-Care
"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"
"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."
"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."
EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything
Stay at home
Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.
Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion
'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'
"Oh God, beards are so passe."
"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."
Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!
"Be honest: Does this shirt make me look like a blockhead?"
Idiots guide to being an idiot.
Cat Self-Help Support Group
"Hey! If you're gonna use the ladies tee that skirt goes below the knees. And lose the tank top, mister."
'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'
"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."
I call it "Self-portrait in Quicksand."
Business Seminar: How to profit from inflation.
'Saline implants? That'd kill you! I'd take anything Rick says with a grain of salt- But I suppose that'd kill you too.'
'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'
'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.
'Actually, I learned a lot in college, but there are very few job openings out there for expert beer drinkers.'
'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'
"Pant height = √belt ÷ age²"
'Don't try and cheer yourself up. Leave it to us experts.'
Distressed Clothing Fashion Shop
"I've just joined a support group for boring people."
Self-control Satirist Prints Collection
Self-control Satirist Mugs
Explore our collection of satirical mugs that highlight the clever humor loved by the self-control satirist. Find your perfect witty mug today.
Self-control Satirist Pillows
Browse our humorous pillows featuring satirical messages that add personality and wit to any living space.
Self-control Satirist T-Shirts
Check out our range of satirical t-shirts, ideal for expressing the sharp wit of the self-control satirist in style.