Self-control Master T-Shirts

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Blinkered Walk Past the Cake Shop.

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

Zenemies.

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"You think this is bad? Did I ever tell you about the time. . ."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.