Self-conscious Superstars Mugs

"Me, I'm too self-conscious to go to the gym. I have my own hamster wheel at home..."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Bald man with a brush on his head

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

'Does my bum look big in this'

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

"What's it all about, self-ie..."

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

"Thanks for the interview. And, you're definitely on my shortlist."

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

Drink kills.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

Magic Trick

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Designated driver at a party.

'Just look at this carpet! I guess what they say is true. Nature does indeed abhor a vacuum.'

Vain Security Guard

"I finally found a look that covers all my flaws."

Diet Clinic: Members Please use Frieght Elevator in Rear.

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."

He was a good man. She was going to miss him.