Self-confident Crusader Mugs

'You say that I'm 'full of myself'. Who else would fit into my body?'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Ironing day.

Caged Businessman

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

Fumes from furniture

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

Cleaner

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

The Glass Floor

Bees full of righteous indignation swarm the honey company's executive suite.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."