Self-care Humorist Pillows

"Great... I'm roughly 60% wet"

An over weight man stepping into bath and all the water coming out

"The only thing I notice thinning is my hair."

Bald man polishing head

Narcissus visits the ophthalmologist

Bald Man Overcomb

Dummies for Dummies.

New from Lockdown Press

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

Bird at birdbath shaving.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

New years resolutions

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Narcissus

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

"I asked You, in the nicest possible way, to make me a better person, but apparently You couldn't be bothered."

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

'Your hospital bill is $8437.00, plus $350.00 for not wearing clean underwear when you were brought in.'

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."

Cat Self-Help Support Group

Business Seminar: How to profit from inflation.

'Don't try and cheer yourself up. Leave it to us experts.'

"Closed. Out to fast."

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"If I hear someone use the word 'mindful' one more time, I'm going to lose my mind."

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'