Seer Of Stocks T-Shirts

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

Business News.

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'Sell South Africa!'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

The Contrarian funds

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

Investments.

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'