Seed Catalog Subscriber Pillows

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

bird interprets modern art

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'First weeds of spring.'

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

Farmer's credit.

"No need to be embarrassed. Eventually we all need a lanolin supplement."

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

Dreams of Spring...

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'

Nature Scents Research Department.

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"My platform can be summarized in a single word: Leadership!"

'It worked! Dressing the scarecrow like a lawyer has scared everybody away!'

Bird seed.

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

The Desk that Broke the Plains.

At least he could say that he straightened the prongs of the fork today.

"'Nother load of tobacco money headin' north, Ma." "Yep."

Johnny Cash Cow: 'I've got some great seats at the back.'

"They've just got a better grade of weed over there!"

'Look out, here comes that scarey farmer.'

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).

"Janet and Bob are coming to dinner on October 6th. Better plant eight more carrots and three more potatoes this spring."

'Pssst...hey, buddy, I got the good stuff for all your urban farming needs!'