Security Systems Tinkerer T-Shirts

Automation of Security

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'Where was the TSA?'

Mac OS 20

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Fixing the Computer.

'3-D TV Kit'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

Edison invents the personal stereo

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"