Security System Hobbyist Gifts

"Beware of watchdog."

'Where was the TSA?'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Biro Security

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Automation of Security

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Halt! User name and password.'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."