Secondhand Cars Gifts

'Herbert, don't you think it's time to buy a new car?'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Crap others threw out

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

'I can dream, can't I?'

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

Car Dealer

Affordable housing

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

Only used once

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

Garage Sales Anonymous

One owner, not counting the times it was stolen.

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

Jorgen's quality used Fjords.