Second Act Searcher Pillows

"If I wanted to reboot my career, I wouldn't have retired in the first place."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Joan Hickson

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

Silver Fox

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Real Estate Personals

"No guarantees, right?"

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"This one's for me."

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

'Good morning Miss...'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Jacqueline Bisset caricature

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

'What's the night life-like?

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

"Crisp, elegant, and well-balanced. Not the wine, you."

be my valentine

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

"Ever since I got married women find me attractive."