Seat Swapper Mugs

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

Wha about trying another antivirus?

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"How?"

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

'I'm coping.'

'Look what the ice cream man gave me for your iPhone!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

The first day of spring has finally arrived! The only think I'll miss about winter is curling up under a warm blanket straight out of the dryer on a frigid night.

Psychiatry. Oops, it 3:17, time for me to switch chairs!

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

"What the- This is goulash Where's my guts-n-gravy Somebody must've grabbed my lunchbox again,"

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

'This time of year it's all that keeps me sane! I keep the magazine in the bathroom and I've about wore the ink off the pages!'

We'll drive to Chicago, change cars, drive to Atlanta, change cars, drive to St. Louis, change cars, then we'll drive to Orlando. Car trips with airline managers.

Owls whoo work different shifts...'Days!'...'Swings!'...'Nights!'

'They're adding 30 seats to the house of commons. . . especially for the conservatives and liberals! The keep throwing them at each other.'

'Would that make you feel better?'

The doctor and the mechanic barter

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'

"Still stuck in the past there, Jim?"

"Could you dig your knees into the back of my seat a little higher and to the left."

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'

'How do you like the dog I got for my wife?'

You wearing one of your sister's dresses again?