Seasonal Trend Follower Gifts

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Snow flake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Inflating Boobs.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"That shirt is so last year."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."