Seafaring Socialite T-Shirts

Directions to the Bar.

'Are we there yet?'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Children's Party

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

"I forget who, but he's somebody's kid."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Brian's considering the optics."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"I'd like to report this stowaway I discovered two weeks ago, Captain."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','